Throwing Dates to Birds Instead of Bread

(Closest thing I've got until cute guy in my Latin class finally asks me out)

 

Have you felt like a lame duck? I am not talking about a duck that makes bad jokes, I am talking about the type of duck that accidentally was walking through a mafia war zone and stepped on a land mine and was crippled for life! You have?! You must be a BYU student!

 

So currently, my semester at BYU is coming to an end. It hasn't been too bad, but my finals are going to be very difficult. So, I am currently pretending that they don't exist. By pretending they don't exist, I mean...slowly realizing that I am a stupid idiot. I mean, c'mon...everybody knows that if you don't know about Russian serfdom that you are nothing. How can I get anything accomplished? One day, I will be in a job interview, and the employer will look me directly in the eye and say "tell me about reforms of Alexander II and the job and million dollars are yours." I will just be sitting there thinking....Alex....Alex....Alex Pettifer? No not him, he's Australian. "TIMES TICKING, MS. CARDWELL" Alexander the Great....no...he's really old....um....bacon? "FAIL! I am going to give this job to that duck over there who stepped on a mafia land mine." Then I will skulk out of the office and probably sit on a park bench where I will live the rest of my life until I become that old lady who yells at pidgeons for getting too close to the bench.

 

So, I must study. It's inevitable. I don't like pigeons....or pidgeons....or birds in general.

Let's Grab Our Koopas and Go All Gadsby On 'Em

I thought college was supposed to make you smarter! Alas, I find myself creating words like logicament (Deanna-ish for argument) and believe the alphabet does not deserve the letter E. For I apparently think the it goes A,B,C,D,F,G...etc...so for the rest of my post, I will go all Gadsby on you, and for the next paragraph, disown the letter E.

So, I am rally xcitd bcaus tomorrow I do not hav any classs at all! All I hav to do is go to work thn I can com hom and slp. It will be grat! I do howvr hav to study for my Latin midtrm. I don't think that it will b vry hard. Sis. MacFarlan said that the first xam was th hardst. Othr than that, I just nd to rad a bunch of books and writ som rally long paprs about subjcts that nobody cars about. I think now is about tim to bring back the dradd lttr.

WASN'T THAT FUN!?! I feel that was more Lemony Snicket than Ernest Wright. So the other day, I stayed up really late writting a paper on the historian Appian. Let me tell you, it was great. Sonnets will be written about it one day!! And by great, I mean it is completely B worthy...due to the fact that the History Department hates me. I am pretty sure they are plotting my demise like siblings did in Mario Bros 3. Don't get the reference? They would beat the easy levels and leave you to die on the sky levels where the floating pillers (WHY IN THE WORLD WERE PILLARS FLOATING?!?)  would fall when jumped on, leaving you to your doom. On a side note, I wonder if literally jumping on my paper before turning it in would have any affect? If I take everyone's paper in class and line them in a row, and jump on them one by one do I get an A? This is something to try.... Also, what if I find a Koopa, jump on it, and aim it at a TA? Will it force a floating A out of them that I can consume to become SUPER DEANNA!?! That would be so cool...Maybe I will get a crown!

Too White to Be Michael Jackson

If Harry were to do this in real life to me, I may actually faint. It would take everything in my power to not act like a crazy 13 year old girl!

 

Happy "Take Me Home" releasement day! I'm sure most of you are like, what in the world is that!?! For all you uncultured people, One Direction's sophomore album was released today! (Hence for one of the reasons for the picture of Harry Styles). So last night, as I was downloading the album from iTunes, our internet stopped working. THE AUDACITY! So, I did stay up to a questionable hour so that I could add it to my iPod for work today. Was it worth it?! YES!!!!! I wish I could dance like Michael Jackson....at least in my head I was to "C'mon C'mon."

So after I hit the realization that I am white and I cannot dance, I got home from work and dressed all cute. This is a daily occurance as a result on having a crush on the Harry Styles look-a-like in my Latin class. So today, I decided to expirament. Will he talk to me if I don't innitiate the conversation?! No...he didn't. Sad day. But like Tim Adams once said "NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER!"

So Important Notes on Life:

If you are reading The Death of Ivan Ilych and Other Stories" by Leo Tolstoy, the narrartor is a woman.

You can buy Carlie's affection with  Peanut Butter Creme Oreos

Louis Tomlinson likes girls who eat carrots

Mimehood

Caption:

Tiffany the Toilet Paper: Deanna! You're unattaching to the rest of us!
Deanna the Toilet Paper: I am sure you did it.

Tiffany: .....maybe.....but don't freak out you might die...or worse be used!

Deanna: CRAP! Save me!

 

(see what I did there!)

So, I reverted back to a normal blog. Hopefully, I will remember to update it...since it is on my computer.

 

The end of the semester is coming to a close. I cannot believe that it is almost over. It seems just like yesterday I walked into my new apartment! But that may just be due to the fact that I may have some sort of memory loss. I think that every bit of information that does not have to do with world history or Latin is being put in file thirteen. I can just imagine little midgets in my head putting my childhood memories and names of people in a fire...like the episode of Spongebob. Glad I got the reference in there now, I may forget it by the end of this post.

 

I am currently in the very end of my midterms! HALLELUJAH! That just means it is time for finals and end of the year research papers. I should probably start those...or do the reading. Or, just become a mime...my plan B career plan when life gets tough.

 

 

 



Matt Walst and the Mormon Terrorist

So life has been crazy at the Y! I do not think I have ever studied this much in my life. My brain is full to capacity of mostly worthless knowledge. I am currently reading the complete works of Horace "Epodes" and the "Odes" as well as Herodotus "Histories." I should be reading some Matthias book....but that will be this weekend. I am ready to go home and just chill...for like two days. Two days of no thinking is all I ask. Oh well.

I am counting down the days until I will be seeing the Nickelback/Seether/My Darkest Days concert. I am SOOOOOOO excited!

So Tiffany and I decided that we are hilarious and should have our own TV show. It would be great. I do notice after eleven at night everything we talk about is freaking' hilarious. Last night, we decided we needed chocolate....so we went and got some.....but when we were at the store...we stood there not knowing what we wanted.....so we walked around like lost puppies hoping for someone to just hand us fresh cookies for free.....it did not work... It was quite sad.

Work is great. I work e.............ALLI JUST SCARED THE BEJEEBERS OUT OF ME.....the computer just literally flew out of my lap....now she is laughing at me in my door way.......If Alli would quit just pulling an Edward and stare at me silently this wouldn't have happened......anyway....I work with great people. I work with Sage, Amanda, and Michael. Michael is a Cardnals fan, so we are "frenemies." I don't like the long hours, but I greatly enjoy getting to interact with BYU.

My sister in law is now an Elementary School teacher at Lamar! HAPPY DANCES!! It's strange, Mrs. Cardwell is my mom...not Niki.

I am sorry to say that there are no boys in my life...I just don't have time for them. Besides, the only boys I need are on my iPod to serenade me while I translate into Latin.

So here is one of the iPod serenaderers. (Yes, I know that serenaderers is not a word). Matt Walst. Lead singer of My Darkest Days. He definitely has a nice smile =D But I mostly added him because he is hot. True story.

Music By Dead People

I am sorry in my lack of blog posting.....I have absolutely NO life....except....recently (Tuesday) I went to a 3 Doors Down concert with Tiffany and Melissa (my other roommate). It was great! But more importantly, THEORY OF A DEADMAN were there....That's why I went. Yep, I went for the opening act. In case this is news to you, I LOVE THEORY OF A DEADMAN. Due to the heavy guitars, I usually don't mention it in the Cardwell household.  Now a lot of you are probably like "Who in the world are Theory of a Deadman?" which wouldn't surprise me. They are not very popular. The only song I have ever heard on the radio is "Not Meant to Be." Anyways, I will place a song at the very end of my blog. It will be legit. I am not sure which one I am going to put though...So I will keep thinking about it as I type.

Life has been hectic for me. Papers are coming at me like a zombie to brains. Work is horrid. They make me carry really heavy boxes and send me out in the cold. There have been many times I just wanted to just pull out a white flag and wave it around. "OK COUGAR EAT!  YOU WIN!!!" By the way, I am the only one who does this. ONLY ONE! That's why I changed my name from "Floater" to "Slave" on Facebook.


So Tiffany perfectly explains what it's like to be at BYU by saying that it's like BYU is grabbing your head and pushing you under water. You feel like you are drowning and you can't do anything about it. Weekends they just let you up for air for a second before you they put you back in for the plunge. So with this in mind, I picked the song "Head Above Water" by Theory of a Deadman
P.S. Let me know if I converted you to a fan =)

Access the Animus

First I am going to talk about how attractive this videogame character is. First, he's Italian, which means he has a sexy accent that makes girls melt! Second, he's just attractive! Even when he's 41!!! The name of this character is Ezio Auditore da Firenze from Assassin's Creed!

This is when he's 41.......

I was going to put what he looked like when he was younger, but I couldn't find any without his hood on. Why does he wear a hood, because he is an Assassin....but a good Assassin. =)

Anyways, back to reality. Time in Texas is slowly ticking away. For my birthday I packed up all my clothes and sent them to Susan so I can pick them up when I am in Provo. So, my lack of clothes, jewelry, shoes, is very disheartening....

On Saturday I went shopping with Rachelle and Sarah at the Town East Mall (Mesquite, Texas). We went on a special mission...the Victora's Secret kind of mission.. haha it was fun. We also tried on skank dresses at Forever 21! And to top it off, we got Strawberry Dacheries from Chilies....yes they were virgin....

But basically I waste all my time writing my paper to the University of Texas and playing Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood. I am such a nerd......but I make up for it...hopefully....