Dumb Ways to Die

So, it is the Summer. The days are full of sun and men and women splashing around in the pool as if there is no care in the world.

But Summer has a dark side, an evil side.

As previous tenants may tell you, our apartment is really hot.  It may have to do with the fact that they put in our vents backwards and the AC/Heating just genuinely is not the spectacular. However, if you would like to be a decent temperature, the living room is the place to go.

Tonight, Leslie and I enjoyed watching Boy Meets World out in our cool living room instead of the hot infernos known as the bedrooms. Then we continued on by myself showing my poor roommate of Toby Turner videos on Youtube... because I love him and I find him very attractive, but that is another story. We eventually gained the attention of our other two roommates named Nicole and Camryn. After an hour of roommate bonding, we gather up on our loveseat to watch the final video "Dumb Ways to Die." Little did we know the impact this video would have on our unexciting lives.

Let me set the stage. It is one a.m. and people are getting into their snuggly pajamas about ready to catch some shuteye before sexy Sunday. Leslie and I were in the bathroom vanity area when she noticed that there was a large pile of water in a heaping mound on the counter. For those of you who never room with girls, that really would not be a problem. But girls have electric hair devices all over the place on the counter. Leslie, using her Holmesian deductive skills, found the perpetrator was a spray bottle, hanging from the cabinet above. The bottle was leaking its evil from above.

I was about to take out my contacts when a fireball shoots from the electrical outlet straight towards our beloved Leslie. It burns out, but not without taking our bathroom lights with it. Leslie and I are now in total darkness with roommates coming out of the room ready to call 911 at a moments notice. Leslie and I just stand there like deer facing a headlight. We had just witnessed a mini explosion which to an aunt may have had devastating life effect.

After I flip the breaker and we get our lights up and moving we found a one in a million chance had occurred. Luckily no appliances we plugged in at the time. But what had happened was water was dripping from above landing on our electrical outlet extender. And right as Leslie moved the bottle, a hair pin had fallen an lodged itself between the outlet itself and the extender, creating a dumb way to die.

So kids, keep your spray bottles and bobby pins away from electrical outlets. We like Leslie. We want to keep her around,.

Anaphora and Hercules

The time has come. The time of utter torment and pain. The time in which you claim your bed sheets have claimed you as one of their own, so you cannot leave....yes. It is Finals week! So here is a list of all my finals with my thoughts on them....

FLANG 276 - Teaching a Foreign Language (Completed) - 98% about Spanish teachers 1.9% French and German teachers,    0.1% relevant to me....well at least some use came out of this class. I can say "tengo dos  manos!" So if there is ever a Spanish serial killer with only one hand and the police come after me, I can say TENGO DOS MANOS, and then I will be free from all charges. Disclaimer. If you are a Spanish serial killer that looks identical to me, please cut off one of your hands. Thanks.

Latin 301 - Classical Latin Poetry - BWAAAAAAA. Why are you so long?! I see no point in my life where Latin rhetoric will be useful. I see no use of it.  I see it as the vain of my existence. I guess I could be like the guy in Disney's Hercules he stands around asking "Do you want to by a sun dial?" but in my coat will be The Aeneid and Metamorphoses and I can creepily stand around and say "Do you want me to point out some anaphora?!" Disclaimer. This section does contain literary anaphora

MCOM 320 - Writing for Business -So, you think it is nice to give two finals for this class? In case you didn't know MCOM, I stink at math. I did not appreciate your "written final portion." Luckily, I actually paid attention in elementary school, so I can tell the difference between an adverb and an adjective.

REL C 236 - The Doctrine and Covenants pt 2 - I will not be commenting on the exam for I fear I may be turned into a pillar of salt...

HIST 364 - Utah History - Dear Utah, as a Texan, I do not give a single flip about your history. You are weird and surprising liberal. When I start teaching in the beautiful Lone Star, they might actually laugh at me for taking Utah History. They might as well rename you Indians and Mormons. However, I did appreciate the class....if it was not for you, I may not have been able to compare my horrible March Madness scores with my classmates.

MUSIC 324 - University Band (Completed) - A final based on my overwhelming desire to yell to the guy next to me "PLEASE, DON'T PLAY!" At least we played the same music we did in high school. Wait?! Am  I saying this college band was playing high school level music. Yes, yes I am. But due to this final, I was stuck with the trio Sam M. and others would play.